The MoRon Tuesday Night Ride, 5-16-06

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, with a little ka-ching$ ka-ching$ ka-ching$ thrown in for good measure were the sounds in my head as the sleek black (bird-shit-encrusted) Prius tiptoed slothlike through the Sir Francis Drake traffic on Tuesday evening at 6:13 p.m. You heard me, in my car, in traffic, at 6:13 p.m. I passed the parking lot and knew that THEY were there--like watchers in the woods--glibly checking their watches, stealing furtive glances around to see who was and who was not in attendance and how much time they had left before the financial hemorraghing began.

Upon entering the house, the dog's outlook changed from overwhelming joy to perplexed and increasing anxiety as her mother rushed in, threw various work items on and around her, stripped down--jewelry and undergarments flying--and started shooting clothes out of the dryer in search of any quasi-clean item that could be donned immediately. Husband comes downstairs, casual, cool, calm--takes one look at me and knows, KNOWS that this relaxation repreive has just abruptly ended.

"YOU WANT A LATE FEE?????? I DON'T WANT A LATE FEE. IT'S MY GODDAMNED RIDE AND I'M GONNA GET A LATE FEE. WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS LATE FEE SHIT??? WHAT ???? MINE?! YEAH? WELL,....,SCREW YOU PAL!!"

Ok, that didn't really happen. I got my bike out, leopard fur, fuzzy dice, number plate and all, grabbed my Camelbak, decided that $10 was more important than water, and headed out, sure that I'd be poorer soon. 5 flattened grannies and 3 mowed-over school children later, I got to the Java Hut where, of course, EVERYBODY (Jon, E#1, Bill (FOE#1), Russ Briggs, Aja, Craig, Pete, Ron) was ready and Ron was waiting with phone open hawkeyeing my arrival time.

I made it. Hallelujah!

Wither the Pete? He raced in and was only saved due to having a GPS with "Satellite TIme" on it that said 6:30 exactly.

OK then! Off we went-Tamarancho (Oh wait, Ron made people have butane shots first cause he has a fancy flask holder on his bike). At the trail entrance, I realized that we had no Karen, though she said she would come. Hmmm. Anyway, we headed up and came to a halt when Ron's fancy fancy fancy fancy fancy fancyfancy fancy fancyfancy fancy fancyfancy fancy fancyfancy fancy fancyfancy fancy fancyfancy fancy fancyfancy fancy fancyfancy fancy fancy brakes exploded and died.

Fucking Singlespeeds.

*Ahem* Anyway, E#1 had the presence of mind to offer kindly to lighten Ron's load--"Hey, you got anything you want to LEAVE WITH US?????" Ron made us drink it all right there. Oy. The rest of the loop was, er.....interesting. Candy Juice makes you fall over. It's quite silly. Ron left us and we continued our loop. Aja's knee was hurting but she perservered and we went out B-17 and up to Sherwood Forest and out to the road and home. We were then graciously hosted by Ron, who-with all that extra time on his hands--made four yummy pizza's FROM SCRATCH for all of his friends. Not really. However, he did use the accumulated late fees to buy the pizza for everyone and we were supplied with beer leftover from the race. Thanks Ron! It was lovely.

We hatched a plan to do a Mill Valley shuttle next week and end at the Pelican in Muir Beach. It's going to be super. It will take some coordinating, and people will definately need to let me know if they are coming, but it's gonna be a hoot.