MoRon TNR

666 - The MoRon Tuesday Night Ride - 666

Mill Valley - Tenderfoot - Cypress - 777 - Troop 80 - T.C.C. Trail - Stepelveldt - Ben Johnson/Dipsea Trail - Coastal View Trail - Route 1 - Pelican Inn

Official map of the Muir Woods area

Okay we’re 7. No, 8. No, she’s not coming anymore. Hey, can my friend come? No, wait, he can’t. That’s 10 minus 4, plus 3 (or maybe 5), divide by the square root of a root canal………ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I’LL NEVER ORGANIZE A SHUTTLE AGAIN!!!!!!! Famous last words—I can’t freaking WAIT to do this again! Once I got over my “It’s gonna be a ratfuck” anxiety, left work at 4:20 (no double entendre dope reference intended), breezed through traffic like Mo(ses) parting the Red Sea (ya know, historians, geographers and linguists now think that what they said was that Moses parted “the REED sea”—something that actually makes a lot more sense given the geographical context—there really was a “Reed sea” in those parts, and, as you can imagine, it would be a whole lot easier to part reeds and walk through them than water, no? Whoa, I REALLY REALLY digress….). Wait, a funny vignette—I was not entirely over my anxiety re: cars/people/ratfuck while on 80 on my way to Muir Beach when the phone rang (which it had been doing with great tenacity all freakin day) and it was Mike Fine. Now, I love ya Mike, but I gotta say when I saw your name I swore like a sailor cause I was sure, SURE that you were gonna say “Hey! Coming on the ride! I’ve got 10 people with me, they’ve never ridden before, they’ve got no shoes, we’re going to the Depot, AND…we’ll be late!!!” I hope I disguised my suspicions well. He just called to say….he just passed me on the freeway. Problem is, now that I wrote that, I have that hideous sappy Stevie Wonder song stuck in my head “I just called to say I wuv you …..doobie do….” Blech.

Crap, half a page and haven’t even got to the shuttle drop-off yet. OK, so I get to the Pelican, meet Ron and Scott and Aja and we pile into the Prius. Scott got a ticket on the way and is grumpy, but we rebuild him and make him funny again. Get to the Depot, but not before Karen calls and says----can you guess? Can ya ? Gonna be late. Ka-ching baby. $10. Alan, Dr. Mike and Karen were late, Aja still owed from last time. Aja and Alan are paid up. Dr. Mike will probably never show again (the look on his face when those two handed over the cash—“Omigod, they’re fucking serious….”) So we headed up amidst great confusion caused by the Ron half of a MoRon looking for Railroad which turned into “oh, I meant Tenderfoot…” then Cypress, then 777 trail which we took great delight in cause it was 111 more than 666 which yesterday was in all it’s anti-climactic glory. Up to Mountain Home, down the hill to Troop 80 where the only cross traffic we ran into were other crusty mtn bike poachers, one of whom was Joy, so baked she just looked at me like that 17 th slimy purple/green eye-stalk I had surgically removed last year had just regrown with a sudden vengeance. Like 3 minutes after staring at me she says “ oooohhhh h i Mo o O o……..” Whoa.

Up and around to Coast View—holy smokes, what a view! What a beautiful warm night! Reveling ensued with Candy Juice (WHY?? WHY DO WE DO THIS????), tequila, 8-year old gummy bears that were summarily hurled to the winds and the grasses amidst concern that wildlife might choke on them, or at least be really busy masticating for a while (right now all you course bastards are envisioning Bambi jerking-off. Sick! All y’all!). Pete really captured the ordering process with his caption “If the choice was hamburger or hot dog for dinner, this group could turn it into a cluster fuck”. Mission accomplished, we screamed down Coast View with the coast in view. What a hoot—that trail is really settling in nicely, and damn is it fast! Several stops were made to relish the beauty of the view and to show some appreciation for where we live and what we have—dare I say, even an appreciation for each other? My gummy bear-launching, raunchy, alcoholic friends? Yes, even that.

Little road burn (screamin’) to the Pelican where Craig (bless his heart!) was waiting for us, and the Pelican People (that’s a weird visual) brought us nice beer and lots of it, and nice food, and we annoyed and disgusted the holy hell out of the other patrons. Yess! Victory! Team Hamana succeeds again! Dinner was great, the ride was Phenomenal, and the company was exquisite. I have to say, that was probably the best Tuesday night ride EVER.

SPECIAL THANKS TO SCOTT FOR DRIVING ALL THE WAY FROM COW-VILLE TO MUIR BEACH TO SHUTTLE US SO PROFESSIONALLY, AND TO CRAIG FOR MEETING US AND SHUTTLING PEOPLE EVEN THOUGH HE COULDN’T RIDE!!!

Riders:

Mo
Pete
Ron
Scott
Aja
Ryan
Dr. Mike
Alan
E#1
Karen

Possibly Inverness next week led by E#1. A group ride will be happening out of Fairfax ( 8:30 Java Hut) on Saturday, with the Fairfax Festival to be enjoyed after. Meet us if you like-it will be fun!